Paper Hearts & Tin Foil Tiaras ♥

The diary of a girl

I want to love her but…

Live Through This was/is a phenomenal album. Not just for the rage or for the melodies or the heartache that surrounded it but also for the genius song writing.

But what happened? Weren’t there drugs around back then too? As in, Courtney’s future let down releases were blamed on the drugs. But I think there is something more. It’s not some Kurt conspiracy, I am not saying that it was him that wrote her best songs at all – I think as a writer – Courtney is pretty damn good a lot of the time, but something is missing.

I watch this video – and I love the sparkle, the glitter, the mirror balls but there is something about Courtney herself where I feel she thinks she is looking different to how she actually does! You know how sometimes you pull an expression and you think it looks a certain way but then you catch sight of yourself in the mirror and you think ‘oh’ because something about it doesn’t quite seem right. That’s Courtney Love to me now – and what is that? Is that her sober? Well to be frank I don’t fully believe she is – I think she’s off the illegal stuff but that by no means says you are sober – especially in la la land.

So…….is this age? Is this just who she has become? Almost like a parody of herself? Or have I just become less tolerant?

I want to like Courtney – in fact, I kind of do, I don’t think she is someone you could spend a HUGE amount of time with in one go – but she’d be good as a dinner guest or someone to go out with once in a while. I loved her music but haven’t felt ‘it’ for a long time.

I cringed when I heard she was making music again – and this release is WAY better than anything she’s put out in the last few years…but it’s still missing something. She’s gone back to her screech which is great but her pronunciation of things – the drama she is inflicting into these words and phrases makes me cringe – it’s so over acted but then that is Courtney – but listen to how she was singing on Live Through This and you will see clearly what I mean.

It just saddens me that new fans today would think this is who she is. Her whole career has been the naughty Madonna – sometimes they could be sisters. But Courtney’s biggest talent has been her own PR, she is very skilled at this. Just like Madonna would have to admit she’s not the world’s best singer but she is probably the one of the world’s highest paid singers all the same. I sometimes look at Madonna and think this is what Courtney Love could’ve been. And I am glad that she’s not. I’d invite Courtney to dinner over Madonna any day and have a lot more interest in Courtney musically too (that’s not to say that Madonna hasn’t knocked out the occasional good tune either but sorry, to me it is occasional but Dear Jesse is a permanent fixture on my ipod list all the same….) Courtney love is failing to deliver and I guess I always thought she would deliver and then some. I love the imagery she uses, I love her writing but something about the execution makes me want to scrub away her recent musical endeavours and savour the doll parts moments of this world.

http://www.stereogum.com/1680020/courtney-love-you-know-my-name-video/video/

I don’t recall writing most of this – I love it when I do that!

It’s cold out there – it’s been cold for years – but you turned up and you were like a security blanket that I didn’t even know I needed.
It was a touchless embrace. It was just there – suddenly it was the comfort I had been needing – there were no words – there was no sound – just this feeling, a sense, a need.
Innocent perfection. But there is no perfection so how can that be so? It was a stolen moment that felt so right it’s the nearest to perfection that I can think of but there is no word for that but to describe it in such a way doesn’t sound as great as that moment was – it just sounds like the ramble this is. It needed to be purer than that.
It was beyond charm or innocence.
There was nothing to it but there was everything within its seams.
So much there if it was bothered to be searched for.
It’s easy to speak, to smile to say things without meaning – but what about meaning it – laying yourself out to be vulnerable.
It’s good to take a chance and see who catches you.
You will be surprised who does and who lets you fall.
You will be surprised by why some people let you fall but you shouldn’t concern yourself with them. Good people won’t let you fall – no matter what.
Friendship is better than nothing? What a stupid thing to say – friendship is everything – it’s the best compliment, the biggest thing in life, it will get you through the most and make you learn the most, and will make you smile and laugh. Don’t define the lines that it comes in – just accept it – treasure it – nurture it. Don’t ruin it. Don’t let anything get in the way.
Those walls will only stop you – they will only damage you. You build a wall around yourself to protect you but the heart has wings and will soar away and then it will be you left alone in your empty brick box.
Don’t define the lines.
Lines mean nothing. They are someone else’s opinion.
And what do they know?
I am not someone else’s to draw lines on me. It is not for someone else to try to tell me who I am. I am not that sort of person – you can’t box me up – you should never try – if you do then you have lost and I will slowly fade away. I will be free outside of the lines you are drawing around yourself.
I’ll be the butterfly dancing outside of the windows of your soul – the one that you sealed up and now you want to escape but you forgot how to get the windows open.
Terrible.
It must be like drowning and looking up to see the heart break on your loved ones face and realising that you only let yourself drown because you didn’t think they loved you anymore.
Lost.
Wasted.
Opportunities flowing through your fingers like tiny grains of sand, but there is no glass of an egg timer catching these grains so you can turn it over and start again – once these grains hit the floor they are gone – done – over.
Don’t ever let things be over.
Life should be a series of loose ends, you don’t know when you might need to pick one up again – or when you need to join some together.
Life isn’t meant to work out how you think you want it to – it will work out how it needs to. How you need it to – whether you know this or not. If you don’t get what you want exactly how you want it – it is because there is a bigger purpose for it.
I’ve seen people throw away the best friend they never had – just because they weren’t open to seeing things outside of the lines.
Find a picture and colour it in, go outside the lines – how do you feel? Out of control and stupid? Like you did something wrong? Those are forced lessons from a youth that has no place in your adult world.
Who gets ahead in life? Those that play it safe or those that think outside the box, the ones that go outside the lines, the ones that take a chance, the ones that don’t sulk but open their arms to the opportunities and don’t shut things down and turn things off, that put a covering over their heart and pull down the shutters and wonder why no one calls anymore. Wonder why people only get so far. It’s not worth the risk. Life is too short for those sorts of chances. We need to feel and if you have too much around you – no one can sense your energy and you will be left withering away by yourself –growing more and more bitter as you go from ripe, to over ripe to some shrivelled up former version of yourself.
Value the friendships and know that we all started as strangers. Think of that next time you push someone away and don’t give them the time of day.
Remember that next time you bite someone’s head off.
Remember that no matter what, people care for you – that you might not know who, or how or why – but they do and don’t go trying to change that – just because it doesn’t fit the picture you created in your head.
The picture in your head is just make believe, it’s not real life.
But here’s the thing – sometimes life is better than your fantasy – but you’ll only know if you stay open long enough to find out.

Hello lovelies!

I hope that you are all well.

Please don’t forget to check out the new blog at http://time4teablog.wordpress.com

xx

New blog pieces for your enjoyment ;o)

http://time4teablog.wordpress.com/2013/10/21/music-monday-4/

http://time4teablog.wordpress.com/2013/10/22/treat-yourself-its-tuesday/

NEW BLOG

http://www.time4teablog.wordpress.com

 

Would love to see you over there – come and play – join in the conversation – be involved ;o)

Treat Tuesday

Don’t forget to head over to my new blog

http://time4teablog.wordpress.com/2013/09/24/treat-tuesday/

 

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Hello lovely people

As you may or may not know I have got a new blog going http://www.time4teablog.wordpress.com

I have long since stopped using my blogspot blog and have not been using this one as much as I should.  I feel I tried out many blogging sites and now can’t give any the full attention they deserve.

So…………….please do come over to my new blog and join in the conversation over there.

I am also on tumblr and pinterest so if any of you are interested in following me there or have me follow you there then please do head over that way.  

I will post here now and then but I want to try to focus on the new blog, be good to see you all there.

Thank you all for your support and hope to be writing with you soon!

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RANT!!!!

In the paper today I saw an article where an 8 year old girl died from internal injuries suffered on her marital bed on her wedding night.  This would be her wedding to a man who is 40 years old.

Nowhere, never, no way, no how should that EVER be ok and to be accepted on the grounds of religion.

I am not one to judge but good grief…..an 8 year old (and sometimes younger from what I hear) is never old enough for that sort of thing, not just emotionally but most definitely physically.

If this is dangerous territory I don’t really care – the death of a child from something like this is a disgrace.  Heaven knows how many other poor souls have suffered.

There are reports that there is feeling that the husband and the bride’s family should be arrested.  More to the point I think such acts should be made illegal.

If you had sex with an 8 year old in my country you would be arrested, you would do jail time for this and be put on a sex offenders register.  And rightly bloomin’ so.

Religion should be a kind and peaceful thing that some people find solace in.

It should not defy basic human law against a child.

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Hello people!

I have a new blog! You can find it http://time4teablog.wordpress.com/

It is only just beginning but hopefully you can all be a part of the growth!

Thank you ☼

 

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