Yesterday my Granddad died. He was like the smiling version of Carl. I feel not only blessed to have known such a man but to have had the honor of calling him family. I like to see it as the sun just got another sunbeam. Cherish the things that you have. Life is short – […]

Dance to your own song

LABELS. Why do we insist on imposing them on others?

Hello ‘Brave New World’ – doesn’t anyone who reads that recoil at the thought of loss of identity. Facelessness. Being EXACTLY like everyone else.

Challenge would be gone. And challenge is good. It keeps you learning, loving, thinking, breathing, being, moving. We do not grow roots from our feet, we are not meant to stagnate. Stay in the same spot for too long and you will begin to rot. To slowly die. But life is for living. The fact we are all made different shows those differences should be embraced, not squished down.

Some get distorted. Their views and opinions become confused. It is ‘us’, ‘our’ job to redirect and help, not to point a finger or turn a blind eye. Help someone find their footing again. Don’t try to trip them up. They’ll tread more lightly. Leave them be and how many poor souls will they trample as they try to follow the wrong path.

Life will happen. With or without your input. So work with it, not against it. Listen to those messages in the breeze. Be in tune with yourself. When your gut retracts, recoils and feels odd, it is resonating at the wrong frequency, don’t be guilty of putting your fingers in your ears and trying to sing a different tune.

We all have a different life song. Don’t alter the tempo or rhythm. Sing it loud. Sing it proud. Harmonise with life. Changing the tune if it gets a little tough is not how an orchestra works.

See people as your fellow musicians. Sing your life song and you will create a masterpiece together. Play it wrong and everything will slowly fall out of sync.

If you spend so much time labelling…..ugly, pretty, bland, beautiful….you are judging. You are not open. You are not learning. You are missing the chance to see the inner being. The inner beauty. The true beauty. Heartfelt, deep, meaningful. The bit that really matters.

Crooked teeth, Wonky eyes. Frizzy hair. That does not make a person bad. What goes on internally is what you should be looking for and what you should be listening to.

If you put all your energies into being the thinnest, you focus on the external. You will miss life’s little gems. You will age, your immune system will falter, your thinking will shift and fall, you’ll end up on the wrong road. Work with what you have, make the best of you, don’t try to create someone that isn’t you. You were made a certain way for a reason – work with it – not against it. Don’t do yourself the disservice.

If you focus on being the most popular with the most friends you will confuse the true beauty of friendship. You will water down the value of ‘true’ friendship. The fact there is a term ‘true friend’ says enough. If you are willing to listen.

Do you think having 800 facebook friends makes you long term happy? Do you think it stops you ever feeling lonely?

All it does is add pressure. You’ve got to keep on keeping up appearances, singing off key. But appearances are only skin deep!

Judge a book by its cover and you could miss out on the greatest story every told.

Beauty comes from within. The truly beautiful value the right things, they put effort into the things most worthy. They make the better friends. They listen. They learn. They sing in harmony.

Look at nature…left alone it sings in harmony. It works together. Creates the wonders of the world. Makes the imprint of our past and shows a snapshot of our future.

A throwaway facebook status update or an amazing symphony.

The beauty is, the decision is yours.

You always have the final say in your destiny. Just be mindful of where you put your feet.

“We can learn to get by if we learn to have scars

If we learn to forgive and accept who we are”

~Blink182~

“Lose your temper and you lose a friend; lie and you lose yourself.”

~Hopi ~

“All birds, even those of the same species, are not alike, and it is the same with animals and with human beings. The reason WakanTanka does not make two birds, or animals, or human beings exactly alike is because each is placed here by WakanTanka to be an independent individuality and to rely upon itself.”

~Shooter Teton Sioux~

Mistakes…..I’ve made a few……but regrets…I’ve no time for those!

Sometimes, you know – once in a while – just like maybe ever day – you should stop and reflect.
It’s easy to become someone you don’t want to be.
Someone that you shouldn’t really be.
It’s easy to lose focus.
It’s easy to have never focused.
It’s easier to just keep your focus slightly diverted.

You’ll know the one’s that do this because they will be VERY quick to point out your flaws.
They will be quick to pick you up and correct you – you know, for your own good.
But the truth is, shhhh, step a bit closer, you don’t want them to know that you know their secret……
Really – now this is gonna shock you but really it’s because they are flawed. Like beyond the little dinks we all get in life – they come with huge chunks taken out of them and they don’t want you to see so they will keep on telling you how wrong you are but in a way that will make you thank them, you will feel that they are looking out for you but really they are just looking to make sure that when you trip they will see and be able to make sure they jump over you, wipe their feet on you and move on.
Now you will have fallen, you will be too busy picking yourself up and dusting yourself down. You will turn to talk to your trusted friend and will be floored again by the fact that they are not only not there, but they are running off in to the sunset.

You will sit back on your heels – dejected, head in hands you will go through all the things they said you were in that nice kind way of theirs. You will think oh my god look they are right – I MUST be all of those things because I am here on the floor and they are there in the sunset, moving forwards.
And this my friends is where you thought wrong.
You are taking the time to collect your thoughts, to pick yourself up and to dust yourself down, dusting off their veil of possession and freeing yourself.
Think of those cobwebs floating in the breeze, you can see them but suddenly they are all over you – you are trapped – you panic but then you find a way to brush yourself free and it feels great.
The person in the sunset now has another chink in their armour and are now becoming more moth eaten by the day. They still think it is your fault and have run, run so hard, so fast, they can’t stop running – when they do they hear something calling them – it’s not a voice telling them to run, it is their conscience but they panic and they run, they can’t be dragged down by you oh no no.
But you see it’s not you dragging them down – it is your strength that has been keeping them afloat, it is you that has been zapped, which is why you fall when you are finally cut free. That led weight has gone and for a brief second it makes you go limp.
You check yourself over, you note the new scars. You think about what has happened. You look at your mistakes, you look at theirs, you learn your lessons.
You stand up.
Suddenly you feel ten feet tall.
You hadn’t realised that for so long you had been cowering.
Walking around stooped.
Half the person you used to be.

And there you were thinking you had lost your other half.
But you see – we need to be grounded.
Not tied down but grounded.
It gives us a reality check.
Keeps things in perspective and gives us focus.
Without it we are free to float around causing destruction and floating away.
It makes us damaged if we keep doing that.
Eventually the damage will outshine the initial product and that is when you get left on the shelf.
For the person that picks themselves up, dusts themselves down and begins on their path again it is like shedding a skin.
They dust off that old wrinkly lack lustre skin and take on a new shiny slightly changed one and go off, sparkling into the world.
Remember that the next time someone shits on you and makes you feel that it is was your fault when you know really you were just human and didn’t do anything overtly wrong.
Be wary of the person quick to point the finger.
Be wary of the person that doesn’t reflect.
History repeats when lessons aren’t learnt.
Look around you. Genocide everywhere still because ‘man’ just isn’t learning.
Some people are flawed some are just floored (temporarily).
But you can change the course of history for the better – your own personal history – by just stopping for a second – reflecting – embracing it all – learning and moving onwards and upwards towards the next bright shiny star.

If someone breaks your heart please remember this advice

It’s only 4 letters

But wow what depth and meaning it has!
It can make a day and break a day.
It can be said with such meaning or with such scorn and it’s only 4 little teeny tiny letters

This works for both men and women about both men and women

Don’t ever sell yourself short!

When love walks out the door……

…..it can make your soul bleed.
You feel like you will never feel anything but this pain and hurt and confusion again.
You will cry, you will weep, you will mourn, you will freeze, you will just stare into space, you will feel like you will never be normal again.
Then you will get angry.
Spitting crying raging angry.
Then you will be empty and numb.
You will still feel like you will never get over this.
But you will.

All that pain – it’s been there to make sure you do something.
It’s been making you think, making you analyse, giving you a bit of space and time to yourself.

If you are smart you will assess things and look at what went right and what not so well, you will learn, you will grow and you will become a much better human being for it.

When you are in the thick of it – any advice will make you mad – but do believe it – because the old cliches are old because they are true. Time will really heal you and that is all you need.

That, and some good friends and family, silly films and a tub of ice cream.

Allow yourself to greive.

Then embrace the new, improved you.

Go into the world bigger and bolder, able to love again and willing to love again.
Work at your own pace, don’t set time limits.
Those that fail normally bounce from one relationship to the other, never growing or learning and just getting bitter.

You may need some motivation to get you through the first stages. There’s nothing like sticking your fingers up to your past love by going out there and being fabulous.

You have to ultimately do all this for you though.

One other thing to remember….you are not alone, we’ve all had these moments or we all will – we will all feel like a failure but the only failing is if you don’t allow yourself to learn.

You will love again. Bigger and better than ever before.

Love!

It is dangerous.
It is beautiful.
It makes your heart swell but it also makes it break.
It comes in many forms.
Each form is beautiful….as what doesn’t break you makes you stronger.

Peter Pan Complex

I will have one of those forever.
I will never be a fully formed adult.
And that’s a good thing.
There is nothing more amazing than feeling a bit let down or a bit down about the news and then you find something from your childhood that takes you back to a happy place.