Paper Hearts & Tin Foil Tiaras ♥

The diary of a girl

Month: March, 2011

Welcome to the world I live in.

It’s not about being mature or immature, it’s about dreaming, keeping those dreams alive, to keep the ability to daydream a reality as through daydreaming ideas are born and without ideas you don’t really have hopes, dreams, and things to aim for….all quite vital for living your life and not just surviving it.


The only word I can find is scumbag…..

Ladies…….and Gentlemen

I read something today that blew my mind.

It was about lady who had been having doubts about taking the contraceptive pill. So she decided to stop. And through her research she found out this:
“Little did I know that switching pills increased my dose of estrogen/progestin by 83% every 90 days”

Estrogen or having way too much of it can cause quite a lot of trouble fo ladies, and to men too. Estrogen cannot be removed from drinking water, men being given such high doses of estrogen makes them unable to bear children.

3 in 5 women take the pill. That’s a lot, that’s almost like doctors handing out these pills like sweets really isn’t it. Put a woman on the pill and it saves the cost of unwanted pregnancies. Well one look at the news and we see that this isn’t really the case is it.

But that’s another issue for another time. Right now I am horrified that something that can cause such a serious issue is never mentioned when a lady goes on the pill or has to change, as generally they inevitably will – and not just once either.

Apparently when the pill first became more commonly used we were in the free loving 60s and it was a revolution. It’s only recently come to light that scientists and medical people thought women would take the pill for a couple of years to have a few years of freedom before settling down to have children and follow the path they thought that involved.

Does that mean that research has never really been carried out on what long term use can do to someone?

Hormones are so important, they really do make us who we are, but this tiny pill, handed out like sweets can totally alter that. These little pills can make you suicidally depressed. I don’t want to preach but I think it’s all food for thought.

I think everyone should think a little more carefully in future before just happily taking these pills, and happily changing them whenever it suits.

“Little did I know that switching pills increased my dose of estrogen/progestin by 83% every 90 days”

“Women were only expected to be on the pill for two years.”

Skinny doesn’t cut it

Read it and make up your own mind. But, I have to express a little concern here. I don’t personally think skinny is pretty. I am not saying it’s ugly but I just don’t think it’s the size that women should be. Young boys and girls yes, but not women.

Most models have unhealthy diets, or are underage hence the prepubescent body. It’s not something anyone in their 20’s or 30’s should be striving for.

Women who become seriously underweight will lose their ability to have children, they will lose hair on their head and will get more fuzz on their arms and face. Their breath will start to smell and their skin and nails will become dull, flakey and lifeless. That’s not something I would ever strive for.

You can only ever get as narrow as your hip bones, you will not get paste that no matter how much you diet – you will just end up with stick legs that look like they are encased in a nappy.

You will lose energy and I guess once this is all coupled together you won’t really be much fun to hang out with either.

It breaks my heart so see pretty people half killing themselves, and tragically sometimes killing themselves to keep you with fashion.

How about know your shape and learn to dress to suit it, how about learn to love the skin you are in. How about being happy and healthy.

I am not saying let it all hang out and get fat – no way – as that’s got just as many bad points to it.

But Tracy Anderson’s name has been popping up in debates quite a lot just lately. I’ve heard of a lot of people that have done her workout videos and have ended up injurying themselves, and people that have followed her diet and become seriously ill. Whilst under her care Madonna was breaking bones and suffering exhaustion. And the report on Gwennies health in the article is true… draw your own conclusions….a woman wanting to live healthily should not be eating 700 calories a day or anything close. 2,000 is the recommended amount depending on how active you are. And there’s the key. Eat sensibly and be active and stop chasing someone else’s ideal. The truth is it’s not meant to be obtainable otherwise diets won’t continue to sell. The world of consumerism needs to keep people feeling no good as it makes them go out to buy make up, diet fads and clothes.

Just remember that next time you think about the new fool proof diet…..I think I am starting to learn what the fool part really means!

A walking contradiction

I often want to be alone but I fear being lonely
I am great at giving advice but crap at taking my own advice
I seem to know just how to solve other people’s problems but haven’t got a clue how to sort out my own
I am happy but equally sad
I am quiet but equally loud
I want to not live in a materialistic world but love having new things
I want to live a more simple life but over complicate it by worrying
I am glad I don’t live in my old fickle world but I seem to punish myself for not being that girl anymore
One minute I love life the next moment I think it’s shit
Sometimes I am so happy and laughing so hard and in the blink of an eye I am crying
I want everyone to notice me but then fear it’s because I’ve got something on my face or that my zip is undone
I moan about being heavier than I was but I hate exercise
I feel I don’t do much but hear my life back in someone else’s words and think wow that’s busy
I would rather have one best friend than tonnes of aquaintences but then moan I don’t have enough friend even though the ones I have are amazing
I want to be out all the time but really love being in the comfort of my own home

I am a walking contradiction.

Kirsty Piper…..

Is responsible for this and I love it – so simple yet so effective.

Pretty Things

I think these are all just absolutely gorgeous.  The canvases are by Kerryn Lawson and the rest is found on the blog it’s full of lots of pretty things, such as this that they never showed us how to make on Blue Peter!!!

See, I’m not wrong – don’t you want to make all of these now – the answer is yes by the way ☺

Chemical Lows

Parabens.  Evil little things and they are everywhere.

Deemed safe……until recently.  But they are still EVERYWHERE.

The are used to preserve things.  So that means food and cosmetics – pretty much most things we use.

BUT……….parabens are increasingly being found in cancerous breast tissue.  They are being found to cause fertility issues in women…and men.  They are found to cause premature aging in skin….that one’s almost funny as no doubt all the anti aging creams are full of parabens.

They are also found to cause accelerated growth of any form of tumour.

It’s really difficult to not use them BUT Garnier have now bought out a roll on and spray deodorant that doesn’t containing parabens.  Tesco has bought out a whole paraben free range of facial wipes, moisturiser, cleanser, toner, facial scrub.  Rimmel has brought out a foundation that is paraben free.  Tints of nature are a paraben free hair dye.  All are very reasonably priced so there is no reason to not be able to avoid parabens.

It’s a cheap product to use so don’t expect the cancer link to put manufacturers off using it just yet.

Whilst I am talking about damaging products…..the new Brazilian blow out or blow dry (depending on whether you are from the UK or the US) contains slightly too high levels of formaldehyde…and has been strongly linked to cancer.  Although the main manufacturer of this product states their product is formaldehyde free but is not backing up this claim with any evidence! I wonder why (please insert a roll of the eyes here).  Formaldehyde is very bad for your health….is straight hair really worth the risk?

4-Methylimadazole has shown to be harmful to health and is capable of causing cancer.  Yet it is used in such fizzy drinks as Coca-Cola and Pepsi.

Benzophenone-2 and Benzophenone-3 are used in many sunscreens, one just for fragrance.  Both are deemed harmful and thought to cause anaemia and um skin cancer!!!!  And that’s only two of the harmful ingredients in sunscreens.  Maybe it’s time to embrace the pale.

It’s difficult as you would like to think your health is more important to everyone than saving a few pennies but it wouldn’t appear to be that way.

Dear The People on the fringes of my life….

It’s not that I don’t like you, I do – it’s just that things are never as easy or as simple as they seem.

5 years of illness is not just going to go away one day, things stay with you – and not all of those scars heal quickly or can be seen.

I still have tumours – I still get pain from them – these ones can’t be removed. I still have to be really careful about getting stressed as this triggers a lot of the symptoms. I still get pains in my heart due to when the hospital thought I was on the verge of a heart attack. These things are scary but I am trying to deal with them. I’ve been put on some medication that is making me really fucking depressed and it’s hard to work through that.

I took this job to be able to try to tackle some of the phobias that I had developed through the illness and the abusive relationship that came before it. Social phobia including using the telephone. I have no idea where they came from but I am trying really hard to beat them or at least face up to them as best I can. I am not special, I am not saying poor me, I am just trying to explain in the best way I know how….writing!

Walking into a room of people kills me. I used to love it. It’s hard not knowing the person I am these days, but I am getting there, I am getting to know and understand her better and better each day. I had friends, lots of them. Some have proved their worth so much when they never had to prove a thing. Others have neglected me and yes it hurts but I try not to carry that with me, that’s life, we’ve moved on, sadly not together. I am building my life up slowly, bit by bit, I refuse to be rushed or rush into this – I want to make it right.

My doctor thinks I am amazing. Very sweet of her but I don’t know if it’s true. She thinks most people would be on anti-depressants and seeing a counsellor by now. I don’t believe in either. Pills will mask things for a while, at some point you have to face things. Counsellors just help you find out what is wrong….I’ve done that by myself. I know how I am affected and I know why, I just don’t yet know what to do about it. So to protect myself I have built a wall around me. It’s not hard to penetrate; you just have to care a little. I can assure you the girl on the other side of it is actually pretty friendly, I’ve been told she’s actually a really good friend to have.

Instead of judging and assuming, take the time to get to know the people you maybe don’t quite understand…you might be surprised.

We’ve all got our own shit to deal with, wouldn’t it be sad if we all just wrote each other off without trying to understand why! Not only would it make this world less lonely and friendlier it would help us grow as individuals too.

In this day and age we are all too quick to judge. All too quick to take the piss out of things we don’t understand, if we can’t label it we fear it. How sad.

Try to go a day without ridiculing or belittling someone just to get a laugh or to fit in, you’ll be surprised……..

I am not different. I am not special. I don’t feel that it’s just me that has all this to deal with. I’m not just having a moan. I am not trying to say poor me. I am just human….and I am just asking for that to be recognised in all of us…….and for patience and understanding.

Yours hopefully,