I want to love her but…

Live Through This was/is a phenomenal album. Not just for the rage or for the melodies or the heartache that surrounded it but also for the genius song writing.

But what happened? Weren’t there drugs around back then too? As in, Courtney’s future let down releases were blamed on the drugs. But I think there is something more. It’s not some Kurt conspiracy, I am not saying that it was him that wrote her best songs at all – I think as a writer – Courtney is pretty damn good a lot of the time, but something is missing.

I watch this video – and I love the sparkle, the glitter, the mirror balls but there is something about Courtney herself where I feel she thinks she is looking different to how she actually does! You know how sometimes you pull an expression and you think it looks a certain way but then you catch sight of yourself in the mirror and you think ‘oh’ because something about it doesn’t quite seem right. That’s Courtney Love to me now – and what is that? Is that her sober? Well to be frank I don’t fully believe she is – I think she’s off the illegal stuff but that by no means says you are sober – especially in la la land.

So…….is this age? Is this just who she has become? Almost like a parody of herself? Or have I just become less tolerant?

I want to like Courtney – in fact, I kind of do, I don’t think she is someone you could spend a HUGE amount of time with in one go – but she’d be good as a dinner guest or someone to go out with once in a while. I loved her music but haven’t felt ‘it’ for a long time.

I cringed when I heard she was making music again – and this release is WAY better than anything she’s put out in the last few years…but it’s still missing something. She’s gone back to her screech which is great but her pronunciation of things – the drama she is inflicting into these words and phrases makes me cringe – it’s so over acted but then that is Courtney – but listen to how she was singing on Live Through This and you will see clearly what I mean.

It just saddens me that new fans today would think this is who she is. Her whole career has been the naughty Madonna – sometimes they could be sisters. But Courtney’s biggest talent has been her own PR, she is very skilled at this. Just like Madonna would have to admit she’s not the world’s best singer but she is probably the one of the world’s highest paid singers all the same. I sometimes look at Madonna and think this is what Courtney Love could’ve been. And I am glad that she’s not. I’d invite Courtney to dinner over Madonna any day and have a lot more interest in Courtney musically too (that’s not to say that Madonna hasn’t knocked out the occasional good tune either but sorry, to me it is occasional but Dear Jesse is a permanent fixture on my ipod list all the same….) Courtney love is failing to deliver and I guess I always thought she would deliver and then some. I love the imagery she uses, I love her writing but something about the execution makes me want to scrub away her recent musical endeavours and savour the doll parts moments of this world.